Vulnerability hangovers
I'm fairly certain each and every one of you has heard of Brene Brown at this point. If not, maybe you should borrow your ex’s dad’s Netflix login so you can watch her semi-recent docu, The Call to Courage. Or check her famous TED Talk, The power of vulnerability.
TL;DR — vulnerability is important.
You're probably reading this thinking, "yeah, duh Carissa". We've all likely even gone as far as implementing more vulnerability into our friendships, romantic partnerships, workplace relationships, and leadership styles. Cool, so why are we still talking about it? Not as widely discussed is the feeling that overtakes you after you practice stepping into the arena of vulnerability. The only way I can describe it is...hungover.
I bring this up because I think this impending feeling is what keeps people from stepping back in that arena again. We share something that’s been hidden behind layers for years, potentially our entire lives, and then we are under the illusion that we will feel GREAT and everything will fall into place. HA, think again!
If you’re anything like me it goes a little like this: you feel annoyed/scared/triggered, you realize it’s time to get vulnerable (yay! Go you! Nothing can stop you now! You’re a true goddess among mortals!), you share, you feel terrified, you spin out about what you shared for as little as an hour and as long as the rest of your life, you go to bed, you wake up, you feel fucking terrible, you want to hide in your sheets, your stomach is in knots, etc etc. You get it — vulnerability hangover. She ain’t cute.
So what do you do when you’re experiencing a vulnerability hangover?
- The #1 thing to do is remember that everyone feels this way and it gets easier. You build up a vulnerability tolerance and your hangovers get less debilitating.
- Get outside or get moving. I was actually experiencing this when I had my recent Malibu day I wrote about a few weeks back.
- Finally, if none of these work, pull out a journal and start writing. What is causing you to feel this way? What was the impact of you sharing something vulnerable? What would the cost have been if you didn’t share?
Does this resonate at all with you? What do you do when you have your own vulnerability hangover?
